I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
