You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
