never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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