I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
