I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she woke up with a sticky ear
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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