we're chasing vodka with high fives
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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