before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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