OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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