TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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