i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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