Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
