clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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