I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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