What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
