Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
