I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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