just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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