Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
