Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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