69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
