He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
