When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
