I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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