Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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