She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
