absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
