He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
