I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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