The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
