You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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