I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
