Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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