hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
