i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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