reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
