are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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