Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
