I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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