i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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