I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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