Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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