She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
