She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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