OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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