God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
