ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
