Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
