i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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