Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
