what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
