Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
