her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
